This summer, we are doing a lot of talking. We do a weekly book study, we go to church on Sunday nights, we do devotionals every morning, we do a Bible study once a week, and we talk about plans. If I'm being honest, a lot of times this bothers me.

It's not that these things are bad - they're great. I just usually have many things I need to get done, and I would rather be out doing rather than talking. I would much rather finish everything that needs doing before waiting around and talking about it.

This past weekend, I joined my family on vacation to the mountains. At one point, we went fishing, and I started thinking. Fishing is pretty much just waiting. You cast your line, and then you wait. You don't do anything except pay attention until a fish bites and you reel him in. That waiting is even more important than the reeling in. If you don't ever wait, you won't every catch anything.

That's when it hit me: maybe waiting is doing.


Maybe all of the talking we do is the waiting and being attentive part that's essential.

Every morning during the week, we hear someone's testimony. It's been really awesome and moving in many ways, but the thing that keeps hitting me is how incomplete some of these stories are. And I don't mean that in the sense of they aren't telling us everything (everyone has been very honest and open), I mean that they are still in the midst of change. They are in the midst of God working and transforming their lives. People have talked about how there was significant change in their lives just a month or two ago that they're continuing to wrestle with now.

It's funny to me, because I like to think that I've got it all together. I keep thinking about how I'll tell my story; I keep thinking about how I can weave in themes and wrap it all up nicely. But the truth is that, unaware of it as I may be, I'm in the middle of God transforming my life in some new way. I have a story that is just as incomplete as anyone's.

We are all works in progress, and we won't ever be complete in this life. God is always teaching us something new.

The other night, I ate dinner with my host family, and the pre-meal prayer was pretty much the title of this post.

Growing up, my family stopped praying before each meal because it became more habit than it was gratitude.

I don't know why it caught me off guard to be thanking God for salvation. It is sort of the ultimate point to be reconciled with God. But it did.

Even when I do prayer before meals now, it's usually just a "Thank you for the food and [insert small prayer about current pressing issue such as needing to finish a paper or study for a test]."

Being thankful for salvation is something that I often fail to do. Growing up, we did communion once a month,  so I'd think about it then, but not many other times.

Somehow I simply lose sight of the most significant part of Christianity. Somehow I turn it into a vessel for social justice or a good set of morals to live by or something to hope in. But that's not it.

God sent his son to his death, so the we could be redeemed. And I need to be more grateful than I am.

Do you ever struggle with missing the point?

Wise words from my mother in response to the pointing fingers in an argument with my siblings. We'd get in trouble for whatever bickering we were doing, and we'd want to absolve ourselves by putting the blame on the other person.

Retorts like "It's not my fault! He hit me first!" or "She started it! She called my face dumb!" would come out with the implication that it's okay to hit or insult back because the other person did first.

But the thing is, it's not always exclusively the other person's fault. Everyone usually had a hand in it, agitating somebody to a harsher action.

Then my mother would step in, and say "It doesn't matter who started it - you stop it." It's more important to stop what's going on then it is to know who's to blame.

The same goes for the problems in the world today.

Poverty? That's not my fault. I didn't cause that.
Racism? Nope - not me.
Hunger? Nah, that's someone else.
Oppression? No, that's other people.

But that doesn't mean I can't do something about it. And I've likely done things that actually have contributed to the problems. As a Christian, God calls me to do something about it.

The first week of orientation, we read Isaiah 58. Here's what it has to say:

"Is this not the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover him, and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?"

It doesn't matter who started it - you stop it.

Most people find out fairly quickly that I'm a sort of jack of all trades. Usually because they assume I'm a photo major after they see me running around taking photos of everything, and then find out that I'm actually a Mathematics major, Physics minor.

But by no means does that mean I don't have things I'm not good at. I just don't like doing them. I like doing things where I know I'll be mostly successful.

I realized this in several ways this week. First off, as part of our intern/student leader bonding time, we played a few games of volleyball. I despise and am terrible at volleyball. Secondly, my roommate started teaching me how to play some drums. I know very little felt like I kept stumbling over the drums equivalent of 2+2. Lastly, my roommate and I went for a run the other morning. Again, not at all a strong suit.

Last week I talked about brokenness, and in many ways this is very similar. But this goes beyond the brokenness. This is about getting over the pride I somehow feel entitled to, and doing things I'm bad at helps with that perspective.

So far, I've only been speaking physically, but this still applies spiritually. This summer will push my limits and put me in situations that I'm spiritually unprepared for. With that will come perspective, though. It'll help me remember that I absolutely do not have it all together and that Christ should receive the glory for anything that happens this summer.


This ties in only somewhat: We're reading Generous Justice by Timothy Keller this week and I came across this quote:

‎"Once you come to grasp the gospel of grace, when you come upon those who are economically poor, you cannot say to them, 'Pull yourself up by your bootstraps!' because you certainly did not do that spiritually. Jesus intervened for you. And you cannot say, 'I won't help you because you got yourself into this mess,' since God came to earth, moved into your spiritually poor neighborhood, as it were, and helped you even though your spiritual problems were your own fault."

I have a 1991 Ford Mustang. I love the car, but it takes work. Most recently, I had a air conditioning hose burst. It was disappointing since summer was just starting to get hot, and my AC worked pretty well. But, my dad and I fixed my car's air conditioning. We got the new hoses, installed them, pumped out the system, and filled it with new freon. Now, it works far better than it ever has.

My car also has this misfire problem that I haven't fixed yet. It happens randomly so I just haven't been able to diagnose what's wrong. But when it does happen, it's terrible. My idle drops to 400 rpms, nearly stalling out my car and then that makes me lose power and acceleration. It doesn't last long and soon pops back to working normally. It's strange because if it was a constant problem, it would be fixed already. I would've been able to diagnose what's really wrong and make it work, probably better than before broke.

Isn't that us?
Don't we need to be broken so we can be fixed and improved?

And don't we sometimes fight it, pretending to have it all together, only to break down, completely disabled, here and there without ever being able to find the cause?

I think it's important to have flaws come out. As we strive to live according to God's will, I think it's inevitable. We will always fall short of the glory of God, and we will continually find ways in which we are broken people. But that's a good thing. It doesn't do any good to think you're perfect because you rob yourself of the opportunity to grow.

So, I hope that throughout this summer, in one way or another, I am broken so that Christ can rebuild me into someone far better than I am today.

How do you hope to be broken?

Sunday, I left Chapel Hill for Richmond. It was a nice drive. My dad and I fixed my car's air conditioning the week before, so it was nice and cold. I arrived a little early, so I went to a park that overlooked the city and snapped the photo you see here.

Shortly after that, I met my host family and my roommate, and moved in. We quickly shuffled off to church, East End Fellowship, which meets at 4 on Sundays. The service was great even though I was tired from travel, and afterwards we ate dinner there.


Monday was the start of orientation. We talked about what to expect over the coming weeks and got some history of the community and CHAT. Since it was Memorial Day, we also helped with a CHAT hosted cook out, which was lots of fun. There was face painting, a bounce castle, some basketball, popcorn, and, of course, hamburgers and hot dogs. It gave me an opportunity to take lots of great photos early on.

Tuesday was planned to help us get a feel for the neighborhood through a bike scavenger hunt. It lasted for most of the morning and afternoon. It was another great opportunity to take photos. At one point, another intern, Jeff, took a nasty fall on his bike and had to get stitches. After I knew he okay, I took some pictures of that too - so beware that there are some bloody photos in this facebook album. It was great to bond with the interns and see the neighborhood, but it was exhausting. After the scavenger hunt, I went and tutored high school students for about an hour, and then headed home. That night I fell asleep at 9.

Wednesday was a work project day. CHAT was able to get a bunch of free furniture for their school building, which is a great blessing, and the interns made a day of moving it into a storage warehouse while the building is being renovated. That night, we had dinner with a family in the community and learned a little bit more about the history of the church (East End Fellowship). There were also lots of adorable kids there (see photo on the left.) From there, many of the interns went and watched a movie together and bonded a little bit more. (Yet another facebook album.)

Thursday was much more restful. In the morning, we took a bus tour around the neighborhood and were able to learn more about the things we had seen biking around on Tuesday. But the rest of the day was left open to us. I spent most of it sorting and uploading a lot of the pictures from the above albums, and then had dinner with my host family and another couple from their community group. Their community group plays a lot of the game Dominion, so after dinner, they taught me how to play. It's very strategy based, so I think it's a ton fun. (And I just paused writing this blog to go play another game with them, actually. And then a game online. I like it a lot.)

Friday morning we went to Leigh Street Baptist church for graduation practice, and that afternoon we talked about what our specific jobs for the summer will be. I will be working with Nehemiah's Workshop. It will be me and two students doing carpentry. We'll choose what products to make, make them, and sell them. I'm really looking forward to it.


Friday night, the interns decided to hang out together and make a big pasta dinner. We made our own delicious alfredo sauce with some pasta shells, broccoli, and chicken (for the non-vegetarians). We also made chocolate strawberry cookie dough things. Basically, you cut out the top of a strawberry, fill it with cookie dough, dip it in chocolate, and then let it harden. They were wonderful. The interns just hung out inside because it was storming, and we played lots of random games.

Saturday was the actual Church Hill Academy Graduation. It's their second graduating class, with five students. All of the interns had various jobs helping out, and I got to take photos. It was awesome to see the community come out to support these students as they step forward into a new chapter of life.

All in all, it has been a very full week, but a very rewarding and exciting week. Even with everything in my recap, I've missed many things. (Like how adorable Hosea, the one-year old I live with, is and how much he likes me already. But don't worry, there will probably be a whole facebook album of photos of him by summer's end.)

Below is a post I wrote on my personal blog (link in the footer) last year. Moving to Richmond tomorrow is one of these moments I talk about. I'm wonderfully excited, but still unsure of what it will be like.

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Have you ever been to a lake or quarry to jump off the rocks into the water?


It can be one of the most exhilarating things. You're fifteen feet above the water. Maybe you've done it before, or maybe it's your first time. It might take a little bit of convincing yourself, or maybe you're able to just ignore your inclination to not hurl yourself off high places for a split-second. Either way, you take a few steps, and leap into the air.

It's this moment I want to focus on. It's this moment that I think we can relate to a million things. It's the moment where you put away your notes before a test.  It's the moment after you ask a girl out, waiting to hear what she says. It's the moment when you move to a new place, unsure of what it holds for you. It's the moment before you play your first notes, or say your first lines, right after the stage lights come on.

It's a moment a vulnerability. At this point, you can't turn back. There's no deciding that now it looks like it's too high up. You're stuck in the air, just waiting for gravity to do its thing.

What's worse, sometimes, is that you don't know what's coming. Sure, you've been in water before, but today it could be completely different. It could feel great, or it could be freezing cold. Maybe a tree fell in the last storm, and it's hiding right where you'll land. But all you can do is brace yourself.

The whole time, these thoughts rush through your head. The sudden re-evaluation of what you're doing. The debate of how it's going to turn out. And the funny thing is, it feels like it lasts forever. Seconds feel like minutes, and hours feels like days.

Then you break the surface. Everything can seem exactly how you expected and completely different at the same time. And that so important moment of contemplation that seemed to drag on becomes fleeting, almost to the point you could doubt it even existed.

Then, finally, you're body is fully submerged, and you realize that you can't wait for gravity now. You've got to start swimming or you'll drown. You're not just bracing for impact while you let life take you where it will anymore. You're actively moving yourself somewhere new.

Then, at some point, you'll jump again.

Have you had one of these moments recently? What was it?

Hey!

I don't have much to say yet, seeing as I'm not in Richmond. But, you've found the blog I'll be updating about my summer!

Talk to you soon!